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The First Time I Had My Heart Broken (From Bloglist)

6/5/2011

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I was 15 and he was 16. And he was without a doubt, the coolest person I knew (at the time). We met on a school camp - one of those events where they get a group of students together from different schools and send them away to learn mentoring and how to work as a group.

I was extremely nervous around any member of the opposite sex, so the fact that he noticed me almost made me faint. I must of looked like a blithering idiot - every time he spoke to me, I would freeze and mumble something insanely stupid. He was popular at the time - sort of the class clown who'd dabble in everything not-so-wholesome. He also had a girlfriend.

So we spend a day or two at this camp. We exchange numbers - I assume it's because everyone is exchanging numbers and it's more out of politeness. I didn't dwell (too much).

A couple of days later, he messages me. The following week I spent $60 purely on text messages (remember, this is 2001 - you paid the full .25 cents per message - no special pre-paid offers - out of my own pocket, so thank god I was working). He said he wanted to tell me something. A bit of back and forth banter and he said that he liked me.

I honestly thought it was the biggest setup on the planet. I sat on it for a couple of days. Thought it was impossible. He calls me and I manage to (weakly) press him for details without sounding paranoid. 

The messages continue and a week after the first text message he tells me he's broken up with his girlfriend (who, by the way was gorgeous and the nicest girl you could meet). I thank my lucky stars that although I knew her, she doesn't know me. He rings me every night for three days and asks me out. I said yes on the third call. 

For a week I went from being completely unknown to having girls approach me in the toilets asking for details - "You and so-and-so? That's so sweet - he's such a good guy." I was congratulated - like I'd won a prize or something. I knew he was well known, and he was genuinely a nice guy but I didn't think anyone would be so into it that they felt the need to tell me.

So, for a few months I spent every second I could at his place. I worked a lot at the time, so it was always around my roster which meant most afternoons were out and so was Friday and Saturday nights. I kept getting all this attention from people I didn't know, and it started to play on my mind. Nothing sinister - I just didn't like the attention. Then one girl I knew, who was a little more 'experienced' when it came to dating, made the comment that 'boys didn't stay with girls who were virgins' and that someone so popular would find someone like me, rather boring.

Then, subconsciously it's began to unravel. I made excuses about having to work and took on more shifts, thinking it was only a matter of time before he figured out I was 'boring' and move on. Problem was, I was head over heels 15-year-old-girl in love with him, so how I was acting was not a reflection of how I felt.

And the day came - he rang me and broke it off. We never saw each other. He could never get in touch with me, and that was the reason why. Talk about devastating. I moped around the house for weeks - Bella Swan style. We bumped into each other at a house party - he was so shocked to see me, and asked why I was out on a Saturday night  at some nobody's house when every other Saturday, I couldn't spend time with my boyfriend. A girl tried to cheer me up afterwards, saying he was with someone new a couple of days after we broke up, so he wasn't worth it (which made me feel great - I wasn't even worth moping about after a breakup!)

A couple of years down the track, I met this girl - she recognised my name and asked if I was the same person who dated so-and-so. Yep, that was me. She proceeded to tell me how sad it was we broke up, that he really liked me and was really upset that he could never see me. He didn't get together with anyone else after we broke up, and said she thought we'd be one of those couples to stay together. At the time I was into my second teenage-love-of-my-life relationship, so I wasn't too concerned about the whole thing, but I did note that no matter what age you are you should a) never listen to what anyone else says about your relationship with someone and b) talk to the person you're in a relationship with. But I guess that's the stuff you've got to learn. 
  

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