Re: Limbo

My friend an I dubbed Fiji Airport as purgatory. We were there for hours on end waiting for connecting flights* and because it's tiny, (like "there-is-nothing-there" tiny), with bad food it got it's new name.

My friend feels like she's in limbo at the moment. Not Fiji, but the kind where you just 'survive' each day as it comes, with no breakup in between. Everything seems like it's pre-programmed into you and so the reason you get out of bed, go to work, eat and do whatever it is you do is because you're past caring and it's just what you're 'meant' to do, rather than what you 'want' to do.

I have to say - I hate the feeling that you do anything with the reasoning being you're 'meant' to do it. I don't know if it's my innate problem with authority, but I automatically question, 'but, why?'. Trust me, don't ever try and win an argument with me by telling me 'you're meant to do it'. Does not compute.

Someone called me a bad wife for not ironing my hubby's work shirts. He's a mechanic mind you, and they're not nice shirts. They're work shirts. Both my hubby and I work full time, and up until recently I worked more hours than he did in  a 9 day cycle. I asked them why I was supposed to iron his shirts. He didn't even iron them. There was no reasoning for it in my books. The answer? "Because you're meant to." 

I suspect their reasoning was because it was their job at home, and because they had a vagina it was their duty to make sure their husband went to work every day in an ironed shirt. For the record, I don't even my own stuff. The last time I used my iron was to melt coloured crayon wax shavings onto paper. I know, I'm yet to hit maturity.

I have also been told several times that:

1. You're 'meant' to work 9-5, 5 days a week. Really? Who the f*ck made up that rule? Pretty sure millions of people lead perfect lives and they don't work 9-5, 5 days a week. My husband for example.

2. You're 'meant' to have children, whether you like them or want them - (Not me, but that one is for T).

3. You're 'meant' to have a career [as a young female in 2011]. I like work, a lot. Gives me a purpose while I'm not travelling or spending time with friends or family (once they're in the picture, I couldn't give a rats ass about work). But I wouldn't say I have a career. Career women have shoulder pads, eat microwave meals and bust the balls of the men who sit in on their board meetings. A career means you're totally focused on being successful in your field, at the expense of everything else. A career means, 'live to work'. You should see people's heads EXPLODE when you tell them that you're not into being a career woman. Their eyes open wide, and they stutter, "You want to be a... a.... housewife?" like it's the worst thing in the world. Turns out there are two life paths for women - mother and career. You don't want one means you want the other automatically. God, people shit me.

Bit concerned about my little friend. I suspect that if she continues as she does she's either going to, a) burn out and not get out of bed for several weeks because she's created a black hole depression of some description, or b) she's going to lose her mind, rip the place apart, tell her boss and all her staff to royally fuck themselves and stab her boyfriend upon him asking, 'how was your day?' at the end of it.  

I have been in the first circumstance. A couple of years ago. Just stopped caring. And then you stop caring about everything and you stop doing all the things you're really 'meant' to do, like have a life. I think it was a little trip to Thailand that reminded me how cool everything was, especially when you get rid of all the shit people tell you, you're 'meant' to do. 

I give my friend 13 weeks or until the 18th August, 2011. Starting today, she has that long to start figuring herself out. If she's still in the place she is in, then I'm going to go see her, and using the majestic plural**, (in the same way her boss uses it I'm sure), I'm going to pick up her skinny little backside, shake the shit out of her and tell her we are going to change the situation.

*FYI Next time I go to Hawaii, I am flying DIRECT.
** The Royal 'We'