How long has it been...?

I think I have two drafts sitting here that have been half written but not finished, which means it's been ages since I actually posted anything.

Where am I up to? It's past the middle of October, which is absolutely frightening because it means the end of the year is just around the corner. Where did 2010 go? I knew it would go fast but this year has flown by faster than all other years. I always make the joke (taken from a cartoon who's name escapes me right now) that you seem to wake up in January, and by the time you get into the shower it's March. You're drinking your coffee and it's June and by the time you're ready to start anything major it's November. And you think, next year. I'll start something worthwhile next year. And the process happens again. 

Birthday is on Friday, and I am having conniptions that I'm turning 24. Logically, it's ridiculous. I'm still a baby. But I don't feel like it. And I think if I keep in the mindset that I still have years before I have to figure myself out, I'm going to wake up in 20 years and thing, my god - where did everything go?! It goes back to the years flying by faster than you think they should. 

I am back to confusion stage right now. At the start of the path, looking at all the directions I can go in and I have no idea what to do. Had my review at work yesterday, which went well. But, for all that went well for some reason I'm not overly happy about it. I think it's because it comes down to good things are happing where I don't want them to happen. I really silly analogy would be me planting a seed, hoping for... pumpkin. And then a zucchini plant grows. Which is all good and well, I like zucchini. But I wanted pumpkin. Probably a little too much, but I wanted pumpkin. But should I be focusing on the fact that something grew, and I got something I like from it, or should I be going back and planting that goddamn pumpkin plant that I wanted? What if I don't really want pumpkin... maybe I'm getting confused. Maybe I'm really looking for something else, like squash. Or something completely different, like a tomato plant.

And somehow I moved to talking about growing vegetables. Nutcase!

Anyways, I'll update more... I have to focus on being domet