The reason I'm online at the moment is because today is a public holiday in Sydney and I was up at 4.30am this morning to watch Australia get their asses kicked by Germany (4-0) in the football. I have started studying and plan to get as much as possible out of the way so I can venture out and take some photos (which I am dying to do today).
But, I thought I would come online and post very quickly (read: procrastinate) about my previous post (which, if you look at my blog is 3 posts down - for some reason the website isn't noticing that the first post was written two days before my third, and so forth).
This is sort of a follow up post from my friend's blog, in which she wrote about how unsatisfied she was with life at the moment and wanted to do more, feel better about who she was as a person. She was looking for a purpose I think was the term.
This was back at the beginning of May I believe, and when I read it, emailed her straight away with an, I totally hear you, I feel exactly the same way. I remembered that this morning and had to let out a bit of relief that really, we're all a bit nuts when it comes to finding ourselves, even though it doesn't feel like it sometimes.
So I thought I would jump online (read: procrastinate - I'm getting really good at it, I promise) and punched 'finding yourself' into Google (while hoping and praying a Tony Robbins website wouldn't be there to greet me with deals for his 10000 CD collection of motivational talk).
Just quickly, before anyone jumps on me - this is not where religion would help me out. My friend also found that this was the answer some people gave her when she admitted she was a little lost. No, religion is not for everyone - I do not need a spiritual father figure to govern my life. If I had to chose one, it would be Buddhism which I know quite a bit about already.
Anyways, of all things good old WikiHow popped up (thank you Internet, you never surprise me) with an actual guide in finding yourself. And simply, I think that it might have the right idea.
The funny thing is, I already know all this stuff. Sit me in a room with 10 people, 100 people and this sort of stuff will flow from me automatically. My problem is, I never apply it to myself. It always seems rational for other people's situations but never mine. Stupid, I know.
So this is what it suggests:
'Create your life timeline.'. Write down all of the major events in your life that you feel have affected you and have made you who you are. Try to re-experience these events from a different perspective and take the lessons that you need from it. Don't dwell on negative experiences but realize that if it had not been for those past experiences you would not be where or who you are today.
Start with a clean slate'. Develop your own moral conduct and practice sticking to it. Remove vice from your life. Smoking, over-eating, and over-drinking will prevent you from functioning at your peak. This may take some major rehabilitation for some individuals. Remember, you can't drive your life forward if you are always gazing through your rear-view mirror!
Now that you have a clean slate and you realize some people still think you stink: Forget about what everyone else thinks! You cannot please everyone. While you might not want to disappoint the people close to you, they should want you to be happy. As long as you continue to exist to fulfill other people's ideas of who you should be, you'll never know your true talents. "He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away." - Raymond Hull
'Find solitude'. Get away from the expectations, the conversations, the noise, the media, and the pressure. Take some time each day to go for a long walk and think. Plant yourself on a park bench and look. Take a long, thoughtful road trip. Whatever you do, move away from anything that distracts you from contemplating your life and where you want it to go. In solitude, you should feel independent and self-sufficient, not lonely, needy or afraid.
Ask yourself every question in the book, questions that are difficult, that dare to look at the big pictures, such as:
Write down your answers. Beyond your time alone, it's easy for these thoughts to slip to the back of your mind and be forgotten. If you have them written down, then every time you reflect, you can review your notes and take it a step further, instead of answering the same questions all over again.
Act upon your newly discovered knowledge. Do the things that you want to do! Pick up those water-colors. Write a short story. Plan a trip to Mombasa, Mt Kenya, a walk at Nairobi Safari Walk. Have dinner with a family member. Start cracking jokes. Open up. Tell the truth. Whatever it is that you've decided you want to be or do, start being and doing it now.
Be ready for dead ends. Finding yourself is a journey, not a destination. A lot of it is trial and error. That's the price you pay in return for the satisfaction you receive: More often than not, you hit a bump in the road, and sometimes you fall flat on your face. Be prepared to understand and accept that this is a part of the process, and commit to getting right back up and starting over. It's not going to be easy - it never has been for anybody - but if you learn to see that as a chance to prove how much you want to find yourself, then you'll find fulfillment and security in your pursuit. When you are yourself, everyone will respect you more and treat you kindly. Best of all, you will always feel good about yourself.