My girlfriend just pointed out that her boyfriend has the temper of a two year old and that when things don't go his way, everyone knows about it.
"...Okay electrocution, not what I have to worry about..... his fucking whiney temper. It seems that whenever things don't go his way, or they're too hard, he throws a temper like a fucking two year old. Except with worse language. "Fuck this, Fuck that, this shouldn't be this fucking hard, fucking shit c*#@ of a thing just do what you're designed to do" etc..." I use to get the shits with him when he is in one of these moods, but it solves nothing. As much as I hate it when he's like this, and I hate a little part of him for doing it, I can’t change it. So I get the shits, but then if he carries on I just leave him to his own rantings. Like now. I’m here, and when he needs me to get him something (cause he's in the roof) I do. I go and hold the ladder, but otherwise I just stay away from him. He'll calm down when it’s all over. The WORST thing is when he gets like this playing video games. That I REALLY hate, and I get the shit at him a fair bit. But today I’m just leaving him to it ..." I had to laugh and make a reply because, mine does exactly the same thing. And I thought he was the exception. Turns out no. It may be just a boy thing, but I'm yet to see my brother act like this when he's full blown pissed off at something or someone. If something isn't going his way, it's everyone else's fault. And the swearing, the ranting and the raving. The storming around. Slamming doors, throwing things. PlayStation controller will often be thrown across the room in a fit of anger. Personally, I would love to see it go right through the TV screen. I would love to see the lesson learnt from throwing things just because something didn't go your way. And the football. Don't get me started on that. We had the same problem as my girlfriend did with their reception to the TV. Our problem was, it turned out that our house didn't have an antennae (after the landlord swore there was). Nothing. Our method for months was a whole bunch of wires leading across the lounge room floor to the front porch where there was a mini portable antennae. Not good, but it helped, a little. So he was watching the football one day. His team. Winning, (just) which was a rare occurrence. And the reception dropped out. You should have seen the explosion. The remote was thrown, wires were ripped out. Then he jumped in the car and vanished. 45 minutes later returned with the biggest house antennae he could find (it looked like it belonged to the army or something) and promptly screwed it to the house - right out the front above the front door. Now, we're not even allowed to put 3M hooks on the walls (not sure why, the place is a dive) but he managed to explain that when we moved, it moved too. And that is how, after missing out for 12 months, we finally got SBS.
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Who said I couldn't multi-task? Well, today I managed to spend half the day avoiding work and now I am doing both at the same time.
Have been thinking a lot about work lately... mostly what I will be putting into my portfolio. I feel like some of my time over the past three years was not best spent, and some of my work lacks a certain creative flair. I feel like it is because my current work life is so structured and that I am constantly being told how to do my job but at the end of the day, I am responsible for my work, no one else. Thinking I may re-create some of the jobs I did, and spend the time and energy into making them mini pieces of art for my portfolio. Feeling completely sucked in by Facebook also - and probably need to delete my account soon, or soon-ish. Working on a computer constantly, the temptation is too strong to keep the window open... just in case someone comes online to chat with or to keep up to date with what is going on. I don't think any of my friends are as glued to it as I am - I think they have lives away from working at a desk for the better part of the day. This is where my thoughts end up going back to being a dog walker. Have some serious pain in the right wrist. Assuming it is RSI as I can't think of anything else I've been doing to make it hurt so much. Do you strap a wrist with RSI as you would a sprain? Or do you discontinue whatever you're doing for a few days just to give it a break? Just finished reading The Alchemist actually... I knew there was something I wanted to write about. A friend recommended it, with the exclamation that read at different points in your life, the book will always say something different each time. I have now read it one time, and I must admit, spoke profoundly to me in regards to where I am in my life at the moment. I think it touches everyone in some way because in the end, I think we all want the same thing and we are all at different stages to achieving it - the book details what we are looking for and then one boy's journey from beginning to end. It's a very light, easy read. I managed to restrain myself and span it over three nights (which is a huge achievement for me - if I enjoy a book I tend to buckle down and read it in one singular sitting). My job consists of me being on a computer. Usually indoors (unless I'm brave enough to venture out with a laptop - but I hate actually working on laptops). So today, I made an effort to get outside in the warm (almost Spring) sun and lift my mood with a walk.
Without fail, during my walk I will always end up with the same thought pattern. "Hmm, how can I work and earn an income, be outdoors and get fit without needing to be a personal trainer or a brick layer? I know... dog walker!!" Every time. And my mood always plumets when I am sitting back at my computer knowing that the sun and fresh air (remember, I live out of the city - the air is somewhat fresh out this way) is always going to be short lived. Daydreaming of an adventure this afternoon. Flying out to travel the world, assume a new identity and only return when I know I have explored every corner. Wouldn't that be nice? I don't know how many people do this, but I am constantly thinking about what names I am going to give my unborn children.
It's strange, because I was never the girl to dream about the big, white wedding. Being the loving, doting wife. But there's something about naming someone like the idea of. I used to write a lot of short stories - enough to keep someone entertained for a good couple of hours and one of my favourite parts was building the characters, and of course naming them. I used to pick names that I wished were my name. Going through my old journals, you can easily see that I wanted to be named the following at one time or another: 1. Tori 2. Bridget 3. Amelia (or Mia) 4. Francesca (or Frankie) 5. Claudia (yes, I was an avid BSC fan). I have heard the stories of the women who have their kid's names picked out for years. I'm not so much one of them. But I do listen out for interesting names, and upon hearing something I like, will roll it around in my head for a few days matching up middle names (mine is Elizabeth which is the safe one for now, and even though we're not religious, I like the idea of getting two chances to pick a name) and last names (mine, my partners - it will be one or the other as I will also keep my name). Is it just me? Point is, I have come across one recently that has been tucked away as one to consider, and again I am back to liking the idea of giving someone that particular name, even though everyone else might hate it. Although you'll never know until I eventually do have children. I have heard stories of women stealing other women's baby names. More so, friends choosing the name that the other had picked out for so long for their perfect child - and the animosity that it would bring between the two. I used to think that it was so stupid - there are a limited number of good names out there, people have to double up all the time. However I was shattered when, after confiding someone I knew about a very well thought out name I had picked for my unborn child, they used it soon afterwards on their newly arrived child. Dammit. On the plus, it's confirmation that I pick out the best names. Perhaps I should be talking about the fact that Australia is going through the process of deciding it's new leader. Or, I could talk about about my pending trip.
Because I have been working all this afternoon and my brain is fried, it's the latter. How many times have I talked about it over the past couple of weeks? When I went to Thailand last year with my girlfriend (the very same I am going with to Hawaii), her other half and my other half I was excited but I wasn't as excited as I am to be going away in a few weeks time. I guess the first time around I didn't know what to expect. This time around I do. I think the best thing at the moment is that the holiday will be whatever we make it to be when we're over there. What I mean is, we don't have 50 million tours booked, plans every day. If we went out and traveled the entire island then we do that. But if we sit by the pool and talk for a week straight before doing anything else, then so be it. I am looking forward to relaxing. Spending a couple of days out of the couple of weeks we're there sleeping late, lazily wandering around markets, sitting by the pool, sitting on the beach, driving around with no goal in mind. Hopefully, Hawaii is on island time and will give us both a chance to slow down. I am itching for the day to hurry up and arrive. I cannot wait to get on a plane and start the holiday. A little bit in love with The Ship Song, by Nick Cave. Was passed onto me by one of the girls at work after I mentioned that I have absolutely fallen in love with the guy and many of his songs, namely Into My Arms.
I love the sad soppy ones. I have a couple of minutes before I leave for the day and head to my own personal hell - the gym. Four weeks to go (as previously mentioned) and I am desperate to find some time to really hit the workouts hard. I was supposed to go this morning, but for some reason my body completely rejects the idea of getting up at 4.30am to be at the gym by 6am for a workout. But, who wouldn't really?
It's nice and quiet in the office today - management is away and it's refreshing not having someone walk through your office door every half hour to discuss something that could have been sent in an email, or over the phone. In the middle of organising a family reunion - something I have just realised will take me away from my Christmas break time back in my home town, endless coffee and lunches, catching up with extended family and friends. Hmm. Might have to go back for a quick trip before the long break. Have just realised that we're not too far off daylight savings and I can't wait. Very much over the cold, dark mornings and the cold, dark evenings. I like the longer days; it screams summer. It means I can go for evening walks without wondering too much if I'm going to be kidnapped or be found frozen to death. I'm not a fan of very hot weather (aka. Sydney mid January) nor a fan of very cold weather (aka. Ballarat mid July). I need to find somewhere that is very mild, all year around. Probably around 25-27 degrees, dry heat (no humidity thanks). Warm water, cool air in Summer. Cool enough in Winter to warrant a light jumper and a pair of jeans and a blanket on the sofa at night. In a perfect world. Anyways, I'm off to torture myself. My friend Nick, who is a self proclaimed gym junkie was encouraging me last night to get into it. I think I need him to follow me around as my own personal cheer squad. I am being obnoxious again, and reminding everyone in web-land that I'm flying out to Hawaii in 4 weeks. I am getting really, really excited now.
This weekend has been a lazy one, shuffling around the house doing the odd chore. Well, I have been - James has done so much more which makes me even lazier than previously mentioned. The reason it's been a lazy one is because I am mentally preparing myself for the next few weeks. Work will be very, very busy and getting everything organised before I go away. I also have to be really good and hit the gym and healthy eating pretty seriously. I haven't been in a bikini for a very, very long time and I think I should at least make an attempt at feeling somewhat comfortable in one when I go over. Other than that, not much else. |
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March 2016
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