Over Christmas, I learnt to weld. I needed clothes to wear, and so started with my dad's old gear. Which worked okay, but was a bit bulky and awkward. Of course, it's not insane to want clothes to fit you. I decided to check out the local workwear store in town, and not surprisingly they didn't have any women's safety gear. I wouldn't have minded so much, except for the fact that for a girl I'm a little odd shaped as it is. Small waist with very round butt, hips and thighs and short legs. Women's pants don't tend to fit well so men's are usually out of the question completely unless I'm okay with a 92 inch waist and to roll up the legs.
I thought I'd wait until I was back in Sydney because being the largest city in Australia I thought they'd be decent enough to stock the women's ranges offered by KingGee, Bisley, etc. Today was the day I was going out to get stocked up on clothes. I really am a creature of habit and discovered as a teenager that I am terrible at looking trendy in the latest fashion. There was a lot of heartache before I learned to accept my own style. Which usually includes clothes I can be comfortable in studying, walking dogs, bushwalking and tinkering in. My other half is used to it now, but I think he sometimes wishes I could put my hands on something that isn't stained, have holes in it or wearing thin. On my list was a pair of work pants. As a kid, I trashed my clothes. As an adult too, but I learnt to only trash cheap tees and cargos. No one ever told me, and it never occurred to me to buy something built for work. Only recently did it become obvious, when out gardening my other half exasperatedly asked me why I didn't have work pants; something he's had since he was 14. So into the shop I went. So many styles of work gear. Your traditional heavy drill cotton trousers and shorts, bright pink, yellow and orange safety vests and even the $200 Bisley women's steel cap boot. This my friend is the clue that made me think I'd find what I wanted. After spying a very cool looking pair of rip-stop men's cargo pants I asked the sales girl (one of two) where the women's version was. Nope. Doesn't exist. Disappointed, realising I'd be stuck with the basic cotton drill navy straight leg pant I asked where they were. Haha! Nope! Not those either. No women's gear. 40+ men's styles from short to pant to casual polo there was not one stitch of women's gear. Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me. The girl gestured to the mens. I explained my dilemma. I'm... robust? Curvy? Womanly? Portly? Can women be portly? Men's trousers didn't work. too narrow in the leg, too high in the crutch and generally not an option. She sighed and apologised. I thanked her, and in a last ditch attempt to salvage myself I had a better look around. Maybe there was a nice, wide leg, baggy assed men's cargo I could try. And that's when I spied them. The super adorable kids safety shirts. The smallest size was about a 3. In pink and orange. I had seen them on TV, but here they were for sale. This established, well stocked store had thought of the children. Not the women that actually work and need proper work gear. But the children of the tradies so they could look like mini grownups. Someone had thought, yes! Let's make a space for these! But let's not bother with anything for women. The market isn't big enough, we'll never sell any. They can make do with ill fitting men's gear. But your little darling can look like daddy when they're at home! So you bet your ass I wrote an email. There's a difference between not finding clothes to your taste and not even being offered any to start with. The heartache from years of never having the right sized bra in stock (or it not even existing) was torture. This just pissed me off. Especially seeing there is women's gear available. It's just that the store manager didn't choose to stock it. And brick and motor stores wonder why we head online in droves. Choice.
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Just a minor, minor rant.
I absolutely detest double handling, especially if there is absolutely no reason for it other than it's just an old system. Sure, people should be available to take something if they need it, but it shouldn't stop or change the course of work if that happens. For example, I work with overseas factories. It makes everything much simpler if I can provide them the files, CADs and information they use to put something into production. It means they're not left having to interpret anything and it means no double handling. I'd rather change my system slightly to match theirs if it means an overall cut down on processes. So, instead of me creating a line illustration for them to then interpret and CAD (ie, similar to what you see in a Bunnings catalogue), then I'd rather do the CAD straight up, with direction from the factory about their tolerances, etc. A big flag that something is being re-done is when you send actual fabric setups for them to straight up print, and they come back a different colour. Factories are extremely polite and try to take on all the work themselves. It's always a tricky discussion trying to explain to them but once you get through, it's much easier. Also, it stresses me out when some throw out half assed project briefs and expect you to run around and pick up the pieces. Info by email and text and FB and word of mouth, no structure and well, not giving all the info you need. I moved house last week. We lived in our old place for 5 years, which is now the second longest I've ever resided anywhere. My first was the house I lived in growing up, between the ages of 5 and 16.
The old house was poorly cared for by the landlord and reflected as such. The gyprock from the ceiling was separating and the original paint would flake into your cooking or while you were sleeping. In the living area alone, there was a painted wall, two kinds of wallpaper, wood paneling and as you moved into the kitchen, faux brick. Leaking pipes in both bathrooms had resulted in an incredible amount of wood rot underneath, mice had eaten holes in every corner, the carpet showed abuse from each tenant previous to us and for a long time, 2 out of the three fences was at a 45 degree angle (now only one). The landlord would inspect every three months, four times a year as she was entitled to. So for 5 years we were questioned and examined as if at any moment, we would reveal ourselves to be meth addicts and blow the place up. Our new place is a grand total of six months old. Built cheap, as to always function as a rental property. We've upgraded from 3 bedrooms (one which reflected more a study space) to five bedrooms (which includes the 'study'). All the walls match, as does the white tiles in the main area and the carpet in the bedrooms. We have also upgraded from carport to a two space garage. Everything was clean, and the only grievances were a non-working light bulb in the bathroom (halogen down lights) and a non-fitted mailbox (the post man took to launching our mail across the front yard in his annoyance). Both of those we fixed ourselves. We also removed the furniture marks in the carpets with a wet towel and an iron, which were stated as 'permanent' on the condition report. The biggest lie they tell (real estates) is that carpets are 'professionally' cleaned before a tenant moves in. And so now I sit here, in a make shift fort of boxes around my desk feeling very out of place. Almost as if I was in a short stay hotel suite. There are no stories here or signs anyone else has lived here. It's really odd. I like the house, but I like places that feel like homes. I'm a big fan of older houses (although, more cared for than the previous place) and this one seems a bit too... flash for my style. It's just a off the plan, basic builder's knock up house but still. I am thinking of just pouring through all my photos and getting some printed and framed for the walls. Some family shots, some travel shots. I can't wait until everything is unpacked and it feels like mine. I like it when you walk into a house and it feels like the space that belongs to that person. My sister and I are sharing a study at the moment - one of the bedrooms that is without built ins. I think I'll make this space mine. She has her bedroom. I always feel like I need my own space. At the old place I had my own study, but not here. I share a bedroom and a bathroom, a living area and a kitchen as well as a study. The move has been a major pain in the ass though. Trying to figure out school and being a gown up sucks. Mostly with my mechanics unit, as it's brand new information that I've never been exposed to before. I feel like a lot of the class can use what they've previously gained from engineering studies, physics, etc to navigate the material and put two and two together. I feel like I'm travelling blind a bit and a little break in the material and I feel a little lost. Much like how it felt whenever I was in maths class in high school. Away a day? Good luck trying to get back on top. I met a ex-baptist girl in another one of my classes. I wouldn't say we're 'friends' but you know, friendly. In short, she's quite odd and gives off that aura of being a little strange. I knew I had to talk to her more, because usually most people who come across odd aren't really at all. She's 20, and said she came out of the church at 16. From what I gather, she's looking at other religions, trying to find her place. She thought I was 20 too, god love her. She messaged me the other night, wondering why I wasn't in class. I replied moving, and her response so far has been, ' :) meow'. I think she's branching out and trying the 'random' thing. I don't think she'll stay in Industrial Design. I have a feeling she'll move into something like philosophy. That seems to be a trend among the drop outs. Or graphic design at Tafe or private college. I haven't been back to my parents place since Christmas, and I'm due. Hopefully in October, and fingers crossed not much assassinating in going on. Have been visiting my friend Leanne in hospital, who was all wired up in the epilepsy unit for a week. They were trying to get seizure data, and so removed her from all her meds (including those she takes for a blood disorder) and sleep deprived her. All they got was a small seizure, which meant another trip in a few months. I'll give her lots of credit I miss posting. Writing. I should do it more. Anyways.
Randomly, some things I wanted to save from a thread calling for stupid questions that you're too afraid to ask in case you get laughed at, because they're interesting or funny. "Does poop have calories?" (horatio_jr)
"Wtf is this about the birds and the bees and what does it have to do with sex?" (zaphod_beetle_bro)
"If the entire world is in debt, where did all the money go?" (hungryhungrypotato)
"What is the purpose of a middle name?" (aryasneedle42)
"How do Muslim women stay cool? It was about 90 degrees outside yesterday and I saw a woman wearing an al-amira. I felt like she was going to get heat stroke." (-monkeyslut)
"Why do some hairs come out thicker than others? When you pluck them, sometimes they have a little sheath around them. What is all of that? Sebaceous fluid?" (Cedarwolf)
This year, I decided that I would start the process in becoming a high school teacher. I always knew that I would eventually teach, and loved the idea of it as a kid (probably just as much as drawing and playing around with computers). In some way though, I knew that I couldn't teach straight out of high school. I didn't feel like there was enough of me to give back into students with my only experiences being school.
The best teachers in our high school had lives outside of their work. They worked in their industry and they worked up the ladder and experienced their fields independently of text books and classrooms. They had a better outlook on what was expected of the students. They knew that regurgitating information wasn't what it was all about and they never sweat the small stuff. So although I never really thought about what industry I would gain my experience in (at the time, it was split between journalism, law, and graphic design) I knew that I would take that and become a teacher. So years later, end of last year after my usual birthday fuck-I'm-old panic attack I decided it was time to work back towards what I wanted to do. Lots of calls and information fishing later, I found I needed a degree to be considered as a high school teacher. I thought about what I liked to do. Design. Build things. Figure out how things work. I knew for sure I couldn't be an art teacher. I hated art as a theory. Law and journalism were out years ago. How could I teach design and not limit my job prospects in small towns who provided the basic / limited curriculum? I discovered Industrial Design, which really is Design and Technology with an honours year. So at the end of the day, I'll be a qualified D&T teacher, technical drawing teacher who will be able to pull their weight within the department regarding computers, a bit of engineering, etc. The goal here is to be valuable as I'm hearing there's lots of competition. Now, how's my first experience of university going? Well, different. My previous experience has been mostly hands on, industry work. Any training has been short, to the point and concentrated. University is completely different. They drip feed information slowly over the course of weeks and weeks. I think, condensed the theory could be learnt and retained within a few weeks. The project side is a little different, but first year and second year projects are quite simple and straight forward. I'm already 2 units ahead due to prior experience and learning credits and I'm progressing quite nicely through the two most hands on units for first year - Engineering and Design concepts and Materials Technology. I have to say, it's really strange going back to school with folk who have just barely come out of school. The mindset is so different. The way they approach the work and take the information is exactly like high school and they're just preparing to regurgitate it back. Last week in Materials Design, we were commissioned into making a little amulet from aluminium. Any information that would provide of value to any of the students is passed along in the coming weeks. The thing is, no one else is taking it upon themselves to learn independently of the lecture material. These kids will be D&T teachers too one day (most of the course is made up of students preparing for high school teaching). Part of me hopes that there will not be any competition between myself and them when it comes to finding work. Anyways. Easy to say now but there doesn't seem to be any issue with any of the work. Except for Friday, I have a 9am lecture and then the follow up workshop isn't until 4pm. I'm a bit far from home by car to be driving back home, so I spend the day at the campus. Extra fun considering that I'm having to go to the library and fill time with books I can find that will semi-relate to future material. I'll give the other students a bit of credit; fresh out of high school means their math, physics and engineering studies is fresh in their minds. When the memory has been prompted I'm not too bad, but I'm reading what I can to touch base and get up to speed. I have to say, I'm having flashbacks to year 7. I entered high school not knowing anyone (with the exception of a couple of girls who found joy in giving me grief) and so I spent a lot of time in the library reading, writing. My grades were phenomenal. On a side note, I have to mention that I did in fact, yell at the entire EDC lecture in the second week because they would not stop talking. To the point the lecturer couldn't be heard. Several prompts and they wouldn't shut up. So I yelled, "ARE YOUR EARS PAINTED ON? SHUT IT!" I thought I had cemented my time at university as a loner. Yeah, I was the mature age student who yelled at everyone. And you know what? My little EDC group didn't ditch me. The following week, they sat beside me - the first 5 seats in the front row. Heh. It has been such a long time since I've visited here. I thought I'd post something I found within a Reddit post. Some 'bizarre' theories some are convinced of, and hold quite tightly (no matter how silly).
And my favourite... I believe that consciousness is sort of like a radio signal that you are able to "tune in to" the more complex your brain is. Animals and the like tune in on the most basic level, interacting with, and reacting to, their environment, and humans tune in a little more completely, leading to philosophy, science, etc, and that Nirvana actually exists and is a state of complete harmony with the universe, and is possible for all living beings to reach. “There’s language in her eye, her cheek, her lip, Your 20’s are your ‘selfish’ years. It’s a decade to immerse yourself in every single thing possible. Be selfish with your time, and all the aspects of you. Tinker with shit, travel, explore, love a lot, love a little, and never touch the ground.
The single biggest turn on anyone can tempt me with is intellectual collaboration. If I find value in your work, you suddenly become very attractive to me. The minds of motivated people who innovate in their fields are brilliantly sexy. I know this sounds corny, but it’s true. Definition: My friend is very ill. Lately, I have been spending a lot of time with her, so naturally it's been on my mind quite a bit over the past few weeks. The thing is, the illnesses she has aren't the ones with an expiry date on them. It's not so straight forward as having cancer or old age. Her illnesses are complicated and unpredictable and leave her basically in limbo for the rest of her life.
She's been blessed with a multitude of extremely rare blood disorders and most recently a firm epilepsy diagnosis. She cannot drive or live alone. The longest she's recently been seizure free was 12 weeks, before a string of violent grand mals broke the record. My friend is one of the most caring, kindest people in the entire world. When people talk about the world being unfair, this is what they talk about. Now 40, she is constantly waiting for the day things get better or end. At the moment, there doesn't seem to be either. Thankfully, I do not believe in God. Because it's this stuff that would really throw things for me. There is no way he would be punishing her, but what is this all for? Is this a lesson to everyone else? As I mentioned previously, when a young girl I schooled with died - is my friend's existence purely to create a better existence for someone else? To urge someone to take action? To inspire or create something? Is she a sacrifice for the greater good? A couple of years ago I stopped donating to the McGrath Foundation. Breast Cancer, and Cancer in general have an excellent marketing team behind them, which means funding is moved into areas that are of course needed, but sometimes not the most deserving. Lots of Cancer cases have a beginning, followed shortly by an end. It is sad when parents lose their children, or children lose their parents. I do not want to take away from that. But what about the people who have no end to their beginning? The ones that live with disorders and disease for the remainder of their natural born lives? And why is it, that any time it has anything to do with the brain or the mind, that most run a mile? Too hard basket, so we just move along and treat something we can see? A doctor told my friend that epilepsy was one of the worst things to be afflicted with. She should have gotten Cancer. Or something popular or trendy. At least they would have answers. Funding is diverted to the popular conditions. Or the ones that kill the cute kids. The rest are left to fend for themselves. Everyone seems to rely on the physical. Anything else and you have no hope. We tell people to cheer up when they're depressed, or to get over their grief. To stop seeking attention when they're bi-polar or they're just plain crazy when they're schizophrenic. Addicts are written off as weak and those with chronic pain are pushed aside when the doctors are tired of hearing the same complaints. I know life isn't fair. And I know you make of it what you can. But stuff like this really messes with my delusions that the world is a big, beautiful, magical place. To some degree I cling to the idea of karma, and that the good will always receive what they need. From no one in particular, but it's the last scrap of spirituality I have, and I use it to stop turning into a bitter person. People like my friend are supposed to catch a break. Win lotto. Get better. For fucks sake, I would imagine at some point in the future if her life continues as is then passing away in her sleep will be the break she wants. But this constant, prolonged limbo is just ridiculous. The strangest things make me blush. Or laugh. Or get upset. They're usually really tiny things that really don't matter, but i seem to enjoy them. I found this picture on Deviant Art. The description ...
"The girl is nobody in particular. Maybe her knees are pink from kneeling in prayer." I don't know why, but it just really made that picture. I love the whole idea of it. I'm a big fan of subtle references. (Click on the image for original) |
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March 2016
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